Changes!

So it's become very apparent that I genuinely am very useless at keeping up with this whole blogging business! But here I am again about to tell you all about my last few months and what's in store for my next few. So I'll start from the beginning, because that's a very good place to start :D
So I started my new job in August which was definitely the change I needed and has really been where the ball has started rolling... again! With a new job comes a new routine and a whole new social circle which was very exciting as I've always been very keen on meeting new people. But I had a moment in November maybe where I thought that I might throw it all away and run straight back to the pub, my comfort zone. With everything being so new for the first few months, you're still adapting to everything but once that's over and the dust starts to settle the reality of the all the changes start to become very clear, and honestly that's more scary then making the changes. Thinking only a few months ago I was this different person with a different life. The scariness had really come from being turned down for a promotion at the new job. When I told I hadn't got it this time, I went home and got very angry! Was this change all worth it? Would I have been off if I had stayed? What about all this work I've put into this? Well, I decided to calm down and go back to my work and tell them exactly why I thought they had made the wrong decision, why I was deserving of the role, how I was the best candidate. Would you believe that worked? Well it did! I went back and fought for what I believed I deserved and got it. In that moment I realised I had changed so much already. Never before would I have fought hard for what I wanted and not in a begging, whiney way. No, I fought with reason and evidence, I may have got a bit teary but that's because I felt so passionate about what I was saying! So when I they told me they had re-thought it and I had I thought I had really won a small battle (for man, huge win for Jess! :D).
So with any promotion come new responsibilities and I've been super busy setting training mornings up and how to boost staff morale, and I feel that my time in Ghana teaching was brilliant experience for this role! I could put my teaching methods into my work, and also on the way learn so many more methods that I could take away with me for the future.
One thing that;s unfortunate that comes with new jobs and any real big change is the loss of friends. Maybe loss is a bit of an extreme word, but definitely losing touch with people. I have all these accomplishments I want to tell my old friends and it feels like it may have been too long to text them out the blue to be like 'Look what I did!'. So that's something I'm gonna be working onnow I'm more comfortable in my new role, working on my friends. Even if it's a text a week, I need to make it happen, cus it's taken me being away from them all to realise what I've had with them and actually how much I need them around!
So talking of the future, I'm moving in with one of the besties in a couple of weeks time. It's a totally exciting time, but also a really scary time! But the time has come, I'm 22 and it's time to fly the nest. And who better to do it with than the bestie! If you had asked me last year if  I thought I was grown up, I would have turned around and really believed that yes I had grown up, but I'm now realising how wrong I would have been, there's so much for me to experience, like responsibilities!
But that's where I'm at now! I'll probably be back in a few  months time telling you all how it is being a grown up and how I'm totally out of my depth!
So I'll leave you with one of my favourite songs at the minute and hopefully I shall speak to you sooner then that :D

I'm back...again!

So it really has been a while since I've written anything! I have so many drafts but I just could never keep focused long enough to be able to follow them through. So this will be a little catch up more than anything, just to try and get the ball rolling again!

So this week I've been accepted for a new job at Nandos and I've had to hand my notice in to my job. It went exactly the way I thought it might. Awful. Although I really don't want to swell on him and his negativity because I'm getting a fresh start, and I'm really hoping I make the most of this. I still really want to study but that might have to be delayed for a while because if I want to do well for the next few years I really need to knuckle down at my new job. I haven't ruled out studying at home though, but I think I need to see how the first few weeks go at the new job and judge it from there. Other then that it's all been pretty boring! I just needed a quick post to clear my head. I hopefully will be getting back in the spirit of things soon!
                                             

Feminism - Stereotypes = Equality

Recently I've seen a lot of articles and posts about being a feminist, "10 celebrities you didn't know were feminists" "Everybody needs to see this act of feminism" and it really is an amazing thing to see how much attention it's getting and how much of a difference it can really make, but (there's always a but) when does it stop being an empowering movement and start becoming a hate spree!

I believe that being a feminist you should feel empowered! Hell! Just being a woman! A gay man? Why the hell not! Y'know, one step further, how about being a human?! Is that not the whole point of most activist groups? Going through the tears of people insulting you for something that can't be helped, it's just genetics after all, and even after that still fighting just to be seen as equal? Gay rights? Women's rights? Racial rights? Essentially all it is people are fighting for is to be treated equally compared to the next person. And why shouldn't anybody want that? Maybe to some, we're too pushy? I believe being a little pushy is a good thing, some people need that push. I think the big problem though is that some activists are confusing the passion of wanting something, with aggression. Don't get me wrong a little bit of positive aggression is perfectly fine, and to me falls under being passionate but then there's hating on the people you are trying to convince to get on your side. Now you may think I'm talking about men when I say people, and for the majority I am, but I'm also talking about women. Yes, women need to convince women to fight for women's rights! I have read posts where women with good intentions sometimes over step the mark and start telling women what they should and shouldn't be doing and sometime I agree that there are people who let down our side but isn't that exactly what we're fighting against? People who tell us what we should and shouldn't be doing because we're women? You may be trying to enlighten women and even men with the "You don't need to wear make up" and the "You don't have to be a housewife" and that's fine. I enjoy wearing make up, and I love that silky feeling of shaving my legs, and yes I do it for myself but I also do it for others to show a good representation of myself. I feel at my most confident when I think I'm looking good, but to me that's not a bad thing. If you're a person who feels at their best when they're fresh faced than that's what works for you! We should be living by what makes us feel the most comfortable. Some women are at their happiest when they fall into what the 'stereotypical' woman want and no you don't have to but there's also nothing wrong with wanting that either! Women shouldn't feel belittled or left behind in the fight for equality because they do want what other women don't! The whole point is that we want to be treated as individuals and not Be a proud mother, be a proud student, be a proud CEO but at most importantly be a proud 'you'. Enjoy what makes you exactly what you are and remember don't criticize those who don't necessarily fit into what we believe our 'ideal' is. If we want equality we have to fight together and help those back up and not push them down further. We can be better if we're all confident in who we are and do it together! I want equality, not advantages. 

Naturals For Boobies

There's been a trend the last few days to raise awareness for Breast Cancer where women take selfies, now stay with me I know this is the norm for women, but they're going without make up! Nada! Completely nat-u-ral! This won't be a long post, I just wanted to get out how surprised I am, as to how much it's worked! But the big question is, should it be about raising awareness or raising money? Personally I think both are just as important as the other! Raise awareness for women to check themselves and get themselves checked! Raise money to get the research done to save lives! I don't think either opinion is wrong because I've never heard so many people talk about the 'C' word so much, whether it's negatively or positively, it's still being spoke about and I guess is sort of the point to the whole thing. Unfortunately cancer seems to have had an effect on everyone, either you know someone that's had it or you have had it yourself! We can really learn from this! I know that I learnt more about what to look out for and how to know whether I should be getting checked out!

Within 24 hours Breast Cancer UK had raised over £1million! If that doesn't prove a point then I don't know what will! Maybe Charities should make raising awareness/money more fun? I'm not sure that's the right word to use but everyone seems to have enjoyed doing them (apart from those neg heads) and most people seems to have donated! A little can go a long way! So to those who thought it was silly and didn't see the point and mostly to you cancer you can all go do one!! Congratulations ladies keep it going! 

If you'd like to donate to Breast Cancer simply text BEAT to 70099

My no make up selfie!

The Naughty Step

I've recently read a blog post about being against LGBT from a Nigerian man's viewpoint, Adeyinka Adekanye. It's inspired this post and has make me realise there's more to the AGAINST viewpoint than what is being shown. Although I am FOR Gay Rights and believe they should receive every entitlement anyone else does, he made some extremely good points more about the history and politics that it involved for their country and their people which made me look at the situation quite differently.

A point that stuck with me most from the post was how the 'Western World' are trying to force these laws on to these countries and how their arguments against having them are based on religion. A religion that was imposed by the 'Western World'. So to put it in really simple terms American and European countries have gone to Africa, put them in slavery and told them that this religion is what they should be following because that's right and everything else is wrong. Cut to a few hundred years down the line now we're telling these said countries that they're opinions based on religion is wrong. It makes me think that are we the right people to be telling others what to do. We seem to think that every opinion we have is right and so therefore should be shoved into every other countries faces when only 50 years ago homosexual acts became legal in the UK and still wasn't a safe place for people to come out in. The negative treatment of homosexual men and women all over the world is a thing that's still being worked on, but when countries like America are trying to force these views onto others when they still don't seem to have their own states agreed on the laws. In a country where it has 50 states and only 17 of them have made the pass on legalising gay marriage. It seems quite hypocritical. Maybe they should focus in on themselves and what else they could be doing before projecting to the rest of the world because it seems clear they have work to do! It seems hypocritical. It seems to be one rule for one and one rule for the other.

This brings me to the next point that was raised in the post about how countries are starting to stop sending aid and pulling their companies out of countries like Uganda and Nigeria because of their anti gay laws. Even though I understand the logic behind this, is it not a bit like disciplining a child? Are they treating these countries like children? How are you ever going to get adults to agree on or even understand your view if you are trying to essentially 'send them to bed with no dinner' or 'putting them on the naughty step'. Why are we not focusing in on all of the 82 countries where homosexuality is illegal instead of picking and choosing who we're going to punish next? Recently a lot of the focus has been on Russia and the disgusting way homosexuals are treated. There was a bid for bars, clubs (especially LGBT establishments) and the general public to stop buying Smirnoff products as it was a Russian product. If this is the approach we're going to take then should we not be doing the equivalent to each country and state until it's legal. Should we be turning our backs on American states that hasn't yet agreed? Well if that's the way we're doing it then yes, but let's be honest it's not going to happen and the 'theory' clearly hasn't worked as of yet and probably isn't going to.

So the question being, what do we do? Unfortunately I don't think there is a right answer but all we can do is keep raising awareness and try to make people understand, but you can't force things. I always find people have a greater respect for your opinions regardless of whether they agree or not, if you are to just take the time to not fight your argument, but to help people understand why these are your opinions and in turn they will tell you the reasons for their opinions. But how are things going to be resolved if we're always in a battle of who's wrong and who's right and especially when we've pushed those opinions onto people when we were 'right' before. The thing about change is that it's slow and we have to acknowledge that things take time, but they do change and we are already seeing that. Maybe we shouldn't be fighting for such extreme views in countries that clearly have their own beliefs but trying to educate people about some of the issues and instead of punishing them help them to understand. After all education can be one of the strongest tools! Sometimes there's nothing wrong with a compromise!