Feminism - Stereotypes = Equality

Recently I've seen a lot of articles and posts about being a feminist, "10 celebrities you didn't know were feminists" "Everybody needs to see this act of feminism" and it really is an amazing thing to see how much attention it's getting and how much of a difference it can really make, but (there's always a but) when does it stop being an empowering movement and start becoming a hate spree!

I believe that being a feminist you should feel empowered! Hell! Just being a woman! A gay man? Why the hell not! Y'know, one step further, how about being a human?! Is that not the whole point of most activist groups? Going through the tears of people insulting you for something that can't be helped, it's just genetics after all, and even after that still fighting just to be seen as equal? Gay rights? Women's rights? Racial rights? Essentially all it is people are fighting for is to be treated equally compared to the next person. And why shouldn't anybody want that? Maybe to some, we're too pushy? I believe being a little pushy is a good thing, some people need that push. I think the big problem though is that some activists are confusing the passion of wanting something, with aggression. Don't get me wrong a little bit of positive aggression is perfectly fine, and to me falls under being passionate but then there's hating on the people you are trying to convince to get on your side. Now you may think I'm talking about men when I say people, and for the majority I am, but I'm also talking about women. Yes, women need to convince women to fight for women's rights! I have read posts where women with good intentions sometimes over step the mark and start telling women what they should and shouldn't be doing and sometime I agree that there are people who let down our side but isn't that exactly what we're fighting against? People who tell us what we should and shouldn't be doing because we're women? You may be trying to enlighten women and even men with the "You don't need to wear make up" and the "You don't have to be a housewife" and that's fine. I enjoy wearing make up, and I love that silky feeling of shaving my legs, and yes I do it for myself but I also do it for others to show a good representation of myself. I feel at my most confident when I think I'm looking good, but to me that's not a bad thing. If you're a person who feels at their best when they're fresh faced than that's what works for you! We should be living by what makes us feel the most comfortable. Some women are at their happiest when they fall into what the 'stereotypical' woman want and no you don't have to but there's also nothing wrong with wanting that either! Women shouldn't feel belittled or left behind in the fight for equality because they do want what other women don't! The whole point is that we want to be treated as individuals and not Be a proud mother, be a proud student, be a proud CEO but at most importantly be a proud 'you'. Enjoy what makes you exactly what you are and remember don't criticize those who don't necessarily fit into what we believe our 'ideal' is. If we want equality we have to fight together and help those back up and not push them down further. We can be better if we're all confident in who we are and do it together! I want equality, not advantages. 

Naturals For Boobies

There's been a trend the last few days to raise awareness for Breast Cancer where women take selfies, now stay with me I know this is the norm for women, but they're going without make up! Nada! Completely nat-u-ral! This won't be a long post, I just wanted to get out how surprised I am, as to how much it's worked! But the big question is, should it be about raising awareness or raising money? Personally I think both are just as important as the other! Raise awareness for women to check themselves and get themselves checked! Raise money to get the research done to save lives! I don't think either opinion is wrong because I've never heard so many people talk about the 'C' word so much, whether it's negatively or positively, it's still being spoke about and I guess is sort of the point to the whole thing. Unfortunately cancer seems to have had an effect on everyone, either you know someone that's had it or you have had it yourself! We can really learn from this! I know that I learnt more about what to look out for and how to know whether I should be getting checked out!

Within 24 hours Breast Cancer UK had raised over £1million! If that doesn't prove a point then I don't know what will! Maybe Charities should make raising awareness/money more fun? I'm not sure that's the right word to use but everyone seems to have enjoyed doing them (apart from those neg heads) and most people seems to have donated! A little can go a long way! So to those who thought it was silly and didn't see the point and mostly to you cancer you can all go do one!! Congratulations ladies keep it going! 

If you'd like to donate to Breast Cancer simply text BEAT to 70099

My no make up selfie!

Future Me

Dear Future Me

Wow! I wonder if you'll even remember writing this and how bloody tired you was! Aha :) It's Sunday/Monday the 2nd/3rd of March 2014. It's nearly two in the morning and here you are writing a letter, to yourself. Did you really have nothing better to do? Like sleep? I seriously don't get enough of that! And then sometimes too much of it? Enough about me, for now, what have you been doing? :P Have you found your calling in life yet? So far I've gone through about a million different "THE dream jobs" for you! You're difficult to please and I'm far too fussy! Right now I'm at the Beehive, I hope you're not there still! Of course you're not... Right? Whatever I choose for you I hope you still enjoy it! I'm not sure you can tell but I'm a bit worried about you as of recently! After my trips to and from Ghana it's made me realise that I'm capable of so much more, but it'd be helpful if you let me know what exactly that is? Whatever it is I hope you're doing what you enjoy because you deserve it! Talking of Ghana, are you still banging on about it? Haha! I really hope so! Or have you managed to drag your butt to other countries and go on about them instead? I hope for that too! I guess I just hope you're happy! 

Have you stopped bloody smoking yet? If you have then CONGRATULATIONS!! If you haven't then I'm disappointed in you! It's not big and it's not smart you know? And it's really not good for you but you already knew that! I hope you don't drink half as much as I do! It really is a waste of money! But you better not have given it up completely you've always been a laugh when you're a little tiddly! Have you started being healthier yet? Because if you haven't you should really start now. You should have started years ago! Which reminds me, do you have a family of your own yet? And if so I can't wait to meet them all! How does it feel? Because right now you're seriously lacking in responsibilities! Don't be jel! Do you remember that was a saying in 2014?

What else is going on right now? I'm obsessed with Buzzfeed and Vine because they're both super hilarious! Did you forget? You probably did! Aha! But that's fine because I guess you've got more important things to think about! But please don't forget to smile, because I know you love to laugh! Even if everyone else doesn't want to hear that cackle!

I'm starting to get quite tired now so I'll finish this here but there's a few things I want you to remember;

Believe in yourself! You have more to offer then you realise.

Just breathe if it gets too much. You can get passed whatever it is!

I've already said it but I want to emphasize the "Don't forget to smile" Because you really do enjoy laughing. And I think everyone else secretly does too!

But in conclusion I just hope you're happy and that I've done you proud!

Lotsa lovings

Jes(sica) xxx

Too Many Cooks?

So I've just finished watching Reggie Yates's Extreme South Africa which has to be one of the more surprising things I've watched in a while. It's a 3 part stint and the first episode is about the White Slums in South Africa, and for many of us (me included) I didn't realise it was as bad as it is. I've been aware for many years that being white in South Africa has been a thing that's getting worse, mainly from stories my mum has told me from family members that are/were living there. So my thoughts are would a situation like this capture the eye of the "Western World" because to put it bluntly, they're white. When you think of Poverty in Africa you think of black families in villages who are hungry, walking miles for water and to go to school (if school is an option). Unfortunately Poverty is only getting worse, worldwide. It used to be some sort of illusion of ours that it only hit people of certain races and people of certain backgrounds. So what now? It's very clear that the poverty virus is spreading and no one is immune.

There was a series of episodes about a year or so ago that I watched, that showed the harsh truth about what was going on everywhere! There were no restrictions to country, religion, gender, sexual orientation or colour. Just people. It was called Why Poverty? And their aim seemed simple. Awareness. There was no asking of money no one trying to force you to believe a particular view point of any one person. Just a look into peoples lives. Rich and poor. Just an understanding of things. Some episodes made you realise how easy it was for anyone to end up in (for lack of a better description) just a really crappy set of circumstances. There was a debate that revolved around the series of shows that really asked the hard hitting questions on how to try and end poverty for good with big names, which included Tony Blair, Vandana Shiva, Oby Ezekwesili and Moeltesi Mbeki. And what was their verdict? There wasn't one... They all had so many different points of view on how they think poverty could be ended. It was almost the perfect representation of "Too many cooks, spoil the broth."  After watching it. it made me ask a lot of questions, which I guess was the aim of the series. Maybe one of the biggest questions I had was, will there ever be an end to poverty? Or even a world where every person at least gets their entitlement to the most basic of human rights? I'm not entirely sure! But is there a right answer to it all? Things are getting much better in some places and then a new type of poverty has started somewhere new! But I believe you can't look at all countries difficulties with the same answer. So should it then be up to their Government to figure out a solution because they realistically should know where the country needs the help. But it just doesn't seem to be the case.

Poverty has been happening since the beginning of time. Whether it be in that country or this or whatever. How is it still happening? We've come so far and yet we still can't figure out how to give everybody a fair life. There will always be the "little man" but do they have to be denied the basics?

Is it cus I'm White?

So as a first, sort of, post, I would like to write about something that has bothered me a little bit today. So the background story before the bother :P When I cam back from Ghana the first time I was very intrigued in learning about the language and not necessarily to be able to speak it fluently, just that I'd like to be able to do the basics and maybe even hold a small conversation so when I got back there it made things that bit easier. Which it did! But I had no teacher no lessons, Just learning whatever I could from whatever I knew already, using Youtube and also random sites online. So there was one site I used a lot and maybe even one of which that helped me the most! So I've come back from Ghana again after putting it all to practise and learning more words and sentences and feeling more confident in speaking it, I want to learn more. So today I go on the website and have a look about. The layout had changed since I was last on there, and I have an instant message pop up from (who I recognised from the last time I was on there) as an administrator... I think! Well this is how the conversation goes;

Administrator?: *something in Twi(the language in question)* 
Me: Men ti Twi (I don't understand Twi) Sorry I am still learning! 
A?: You don't look of Afrikan descent 
M: I'm not I'm here to learn Twi although my mum is South African 
A?: Ohhhhhhhh I see I thought so 
*I get signed off* 

So I thought "Oh that's strange!" But stuff like that happens so I go to sign back on to the website. But I get a message saying that my username or password was invalid. Which I thought was strange, I kept trying for about 5 minutes because I really didn't want to lose access to this website as it had been the biggest help to me. It becomes clear to me that I have been, for lack of a better term, been booted off the website. And I try and search for my profile and it has been deleted. And then my whole time on there became a lot clearer. I would look through a lot of profiles and a lot of the conversations! A lot of them would be in English as the common language between all the languages they would teach on this site. And it would appear that they were interested in sharing their information with people that wanted to get their roots back and wanted to find out about their native language or just wanted to retouch on a language. But if you weren't black then it's like you weren't welcome. And I feel as that is the only question that was asked as to whether I was welcome on the site or not. I have never wrote on the forums to have caused trouble but just wanted to learn. But at this point I hadn't wanted to jump to conclusions as it may be a fair mistake. So I go back to the site and sign on as a guest and ask him why my account was deleted. He said he deleted my account because I was not an Afrikan and the site was for Afrikan people by Afrikan people. I reply saying that I was not aware of that but that I was of African descent (My mum being South African) but I know that's not the answer he is looking for. He went on to ask whether my mum was indigenous or an invader. At this point I know exactly where the conversation was heading. After a few mixed points of views he tells me not to return to the website I left with an apology simply saying "I apologize for simply trying to learn about something and I also apologize to the people on this site for simply being interested. Med ase (Thank You). I'm not sure if I overstepped the line by not reading the terms and condition with this being the first thing on the T&C page;

"You agree, through your use of this website and associated Liberation Forum, that this site is a resource exclusively for Afrikan (Black) people and the upliftment of Afrikan (Black) people specifically and that you will not post any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually-oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise in violation of ANY law."

 I violated the rules because I was white. During the conversation I gave a few of my opinions one being that how as an entire race (The human one, that is) ever meant to move on from history if people don't grow and learn from our ancestors mistakes? He told me I was a waste of good air. Its safe to say I am pissed off! (For lack of a better description.) I would be okay if he had a legitimate argument but could not have a normal conversation/debate as the case may be. I feel that he was as small minded as the people he was describing as invaders. But as I write this I think am I small minded for not being able to accept that's just the way it is? I'm getting tired of people using our ancestors as an excuse for everything and the views that we have today. If we were able to look past the small minded people of the past and grow better as a race. If we looked up to our ancestors for points of view and opinions we'd still be burning witches at the stake. I just think we should move onwards and upwards with ours and try to be that generation or those ancestors the future will look upon and want to have some of our opinions. I feel I am started to get a bit carried away so I shall leave it here! But please do pass on your views.

“Until the philosophy which hold one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned, everywhere is war.”

Been A While...

So it's been over a year since I've wrote anything here! I'm a tad dissapointed in myself that I couldn't even stick at it longer than just the one introduction post. I wish I had recorded my year as some of it was so busy I feel like I missed a majority of it! :/ But I also feel like I did a lot of growing up and had a lot of change in my opinions, as well as my goals and future plan. For once I feel like there is a plan! Not one of much organisation BUT a plan none the less. The plan you may ask? It involves more volunteering in my favourite place (Ghana!) and then fingers crossed 2015 will be the year I start a University Education studying Social Sciences, specifically International Development. I've played on the idea of the subject for a few years. I don't want to be another young adult who gets themselves in debt over choosing any subject because it sounded good at the time. I want to make sure I've had enough time to know and to be able to fully understand what I will be getting myself into with the commitment and debt! I just want to be doubly sure :P But I feel that it's time to put it as a definite on the future plan!

As I think about what has happened in the last year since I last wrote this and there's only been a few things. One that was inevitable to leave a memory or a thousand was heading back to Ghana. What a trip! But I knew it was going to be anyway! I've also celebrated my 21st since and celebrated it in style in Ghana! But when I try to think back to the rest, nothing sticks out and it's right now writing this that I feel I need to make a change. I would rather not go out for a couple of weeks and go to a gig. Or save and go out for a day, a weekend or a week. No mater how small, I want to start making my days more memorable and almost start living. I'm also not afraid of my opinions and of wanting to express them whether it be a close matter to my heart or whether it be a flying though across my mind. Instead of this being a place where I document my life fact by fact, I'd rather act a bit more free and throw my thoughts out there to the rest of the world (If they so choose to read it :P). But even if not this is a place where I can be me and I'm open for debate! I don't believe that your opinions stays the same for every subject if you're open minded. It changes with experience and new knowledge! I just want to expand on my knowledge and even find opinions about subjects I didn't even realise I had! So I'll completely disregard my first post but keep it there as I did have some sort of intention. But this won't be on a time schedule just as and when I want to share something because this isn't about getting the views on my blog it's about sharing with you and you sharing with me. So if you had read this maybe throw a subject at me I'm all ears... Maybe eyes and fingers would be more appropriate for a blog :) I look forward to hearing from you! But I may throw the odd song in there! Just cus I like them :) So here's to a good new year!